Funeral Songs for Dad
Thirty-four songs for a father’s funeral. Hymns for the service, the records he actually played, and the ones that are really for you rather than for him. Each has a note on where in the day it belongs.
Updated September 202634 songs
Ten that carry a room
- Dance with My FatherLuther Vandross · 2003
Vandross wrote it about his own father, who died when he was seven. The most direct song on this list and the hardest to get through.
- Go Rest High on That MountainVince Gill · 1995
Gill finished it after his own brother died. Comforting rather than crushing, which makes it safe for the service itself.
- Leader of the BandDan Fogelberg · 1981
Written for his father, a bandmaster. For a man whose work was the thing he handed down.
- The Living YearsMike + The Mechanics · 1988
About the things a son did not say in time. Play it if that is true. Skip it if it will start something.
- My Old ManZac Brown Band · 2017
The modern version of this song, and the one younger families ask for. Plain language, no grandeur.
- Simple ManLynyrd Skynyrd · 1973
Advice from a parent to a child, which is what most eulogies are trying to be.
- My Father’s EyesEric Clapton · 1998
For a father someone never really knew. Quieter and stranger than the obvious choices.
- Amazing GraceTraditional, words by John Newton · 1772
Everyone can sing it and nobody needs the words. Name the recording you want or you will get one you did not choose.
- My WayFrank Sinatra · 1969
A cliché at British funerals for thirty years and still right for a stubborn man. Best at the end, not the start.
- Wish You Were HerePink Floyd · 1975
Nothing about fathers in it, and it still says the thing. For a family that would rather not be told how to feel.
What tends to go wrong
Fathers are more often eulogised in other people’s words than mothers are, and the music follows. If you only choose hymns, the day will sound like the church rather than like him. One hymn for the service and one of his own records somewhere else is usually the right balance, and it takes an argument off the table.
Watch out for songs that are about a father who was absent or difficult when yours was not, and for the reverse. “The Living Years” and “My Father’s Eyes” are both about complicated fathers. They are the right songs for some families and a public statement in others. Read them properly before you commit.
If he was a veteran, the honours have their own music and their own timing. Taps is played by a bugler at the graveside, not in the service, and the funeral director will arrange it through the relevant service branch. Ask early — it is usually free and it needs notice.
The reception is where his records belong. Anything with a long instrumental opening works there and nowhere else: “Free Bird” at nine minutes will empty a chapel and fill a bar. Put the ones with the loud second half after the formal part is over.
By the part of the day
For the service
Hymns and traditional pieces a congregation can carry. If he was a veteran, Taps belongs at the graveside rather than here.
- How Great Thou ArtCarl Boberg, English words by Stuart K. Hine · 1949
The safest congregational hymn in the American songbook. Nobody has to look at the order of service.
- The Old Rugged CrossGeorge Bennard · 1913
For a father whose faith was plain and Protestant. Older mourners will sing it without prompting.
- I’ll Fly AwayAlbert E. Brumley · 1929
Fast and hopeful. Better as people leave than as they arrive.
- Precious Lord, Take My HandThomas A. Dorsey · 1932
In a Black church tradition this is the song, and any soloist will know it cold.
- On Eagle’s WingsMichael Joncas · 1979
The Catholic funeral standard since the 1980s. If the parish knows one song, this is it.
- Abide with MeWords by Henry Francis Lyte · 1847
Older and more solemn than the rest. For a formal service in a stone building.
- Danny BoyWords by Frederic Weatherly · 1913
Sung to the Londonderry Air. For an Irish family, this is not optional and everyone knows it.
- TapsUnited States military bugle call · 1862
For a veteran, at the graveside, played live. Arrange it through the funeral director well in advance.
The records he actually played
The ones from his own shelf. Most belong at the reception rather than the service, and the long ones belong nowhere near a chapel.
- Old ManNeil Young · 1972
A young man singing to an older one about how alike they turned out. Almost unbearably on the nose, in a good way.
- HurtJohnny Cash · 2002
Cash recorded it a year before he died and it sounds like it. Devastating, and wrong for anyone squeamish.
- Knockin’ on Heaven’s DoorBob Dylan · 1973
Simple enough that a guitar and one voice can do it live at the graveside.
- Bridge Over Troubled WaterSimon & Garfunkel · 1970
Slow to start and then very big. Put the childhood photographs in the first verse.
- Thunder RoadBruce Springsteen · 1975
For a father who worked with his hands and wanted out of somewhere. Best at the reception.
- Piano ManBilly Joel · 1973
A room full of people who all know the words. Exactly what you want an hour after the service.
- TimePink Floyd · 1973
About realising you spent years waiting for something to start. Long, and worth the length.
- Free BirdLynyrd Skynyrd · 1973
Nine minutes. It will empty a chapel and fill a bar — know which room you are in.
For after
The drive home, the weeks that follow, and the ones that are really for the children rather than for him.
- Fire and RainJames Taylor · 1970
About losing someone and going on anyway. Quiet enough to leave on in a car.
- Tears in HeavenEric Clapton · 1992
Clapton wrote it after his son died, so you are borrowing it. It fits. Know what you are borrowing.
- PhotographEd Sheeran · 2015
Gentle and modern. Often the one the grandchildren ask for.
- Drink a BeerLuke Bryan · 2013
Grief handled the way a lot of men handle it — by going outside and not saying much. For a reception, not a service.
- If Heaven Wasn’t So Far AwayJustin Moore · 2011
Plain-spoken country about wanting one more afternoon. Popular at Southern services for good reason.
- Humble and KindTim McGraw · 2016
If his advice sounded like a list of rules for being decent, this is the song version of it.
- Forever YoungBob Dylan · 1974
A blessing rather than a farewell. Good for the grandchildren in the room.
- I’ll Be Seeing YouBillie Holiday · 1944
For a father born before about 1950, or for anyone who wants the day to end gently.
Three demonstration songs
What a song about your father sounds like
We wrote these from made-up answers to the same five questions you would fill in. They are not customer work. Listen for the detail — the job, the car, the phrase he used — because that is the part no record on this page can have.
Start his song- Vera in AugustFolk · read out at a memorial, dahlias and all3:07
- Danny On The RiverAcoustic · to a brother, after eleven months of silence3:15
- Marcus at FortyPop · written to be funny, at a friend’s request3:00
How it works
Three steps. The first one is the only hard part.
- 1Tell the storyFive questions. Who it’s for, the occasion, three details only you two know, the feeling you want, and the names that have to be in it.
- 2Pick the soundCountry, pop, acoustic, R&B, gospel or rock. A man’s voice or a woman’s.
- 3Listen, then unlockA 30-second preview in about two minutes. Pay only if you love it. You get the full song, the lyrics, and a page you can send.
Common questions
- What is the most played song at a father’s funeral?
- “Dance with My Father” and “My Way” are the two most requested in the United States and Britain. Both work. Neither will sound like him unless he actually liked them.
- What song should a daughter sing at her father’s funeral?
- Something that sits low and forgiving, because grief takes the top off anyone’s range. “In My Life” and “Fields of Gold” both do. Have a recording cued in case you cannot finish, and tell the celebrant that is the plan so nobody panics.
- Can you play a rock song at a funeral?
- Yes, and for a lot of fathers it is the only honest choice. Check the length and the second half — several rock standards on this page open quietly and then arrive somewhere a chapel is not ready for.
- What music is played at a military funeral?
- Taps, by a live bugler at the graveside, after the flag is folded. It is arranged through the funeral director with the relevant service branch and is usually provided at no cost, but it needs notice. Everything else is your choice.
- Can I get a song written about my father?
- Yes. Answer five questions about him — his name, what the day is for, three things only your family knows, the feeling you want and the music he liked — and you will hear a 30-second preview in about two minutes. The full song is $19.