Birthday Songs for Brother
Thirty-four birthday songs for a brother. The problem with this one is not finding a good song, it is that most brothers deflect the moment anything sincere arrives. So these are sorted by how much he can take, starting with the ones disguised as a joke.
Updated September 202634 songs
Ten written about brothers
- He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My BrotherThe Hollies · 1969
The one everyone thinks of, and it holds up. About carrying someone without resenting it.
- My BrotherBlur · 1993
A B-side and much less obvious than the rest of this list, which is the reason to use it.
- Brothers in ArmsDire Straits · 1985
Not about siblings at all — it is about soldiers — and it gets borrowed constantly because the title does the work.
- We Are FamilySister Sledge · 1979
Says brothers explicitly in the first line. Loud enough to send at a party rather than in private.
- Simple ManLynyrd Skynyrd · 1973
A mother’s advice to a son. Between brothers it lands as a shared inheritance rather than as a lecture.
- The WeightThe Band · 1968
About taking a load off someone. For a brother who did that quietly, several times, without mentioning it.
- Lean on MeBill Withers · 1972
Direct without being soft. One of the very few sincere songs most brothers will accept.
- Danny’s SongLoggins and Messina · 1971
Kenny Loggins wrote it for his brother’s newborn son. Genuinely a brother song, and nobody knows that.
- Old ManNeil Young · 1972
For a brother turning a number he is unhappy about. Deniable, because it is a great song.
- Free Fallin’Tom Petty · 1989
Not about anyone in particular. A whole room will sing the chorus, which is often all you want.
The deflection problem
Most brothers will not let a sincere gesture land in front of other people. This is not a personality flaw so much as a widely enforced habit, and it means the delivery matters more here than on almost any other page of this site. A sentimental song played at a party in front of thirty people gives him no choice but to make a joke of it, and then neither of you gets anything.
Two ways round it. Either send it privately — early in the morning, no preamble, no explanation — or make the song itself funny enough that he can react to the joke and take the rest of it home. The second option is why so much of this page is comedy. A song that is a joke on the surface and true underneath is the standard technology of brotherhood.
If you are the older one, be careful with anything that sounds like advice. “Humble and Kind” and “Simple Man” are both essentially instructions, and from a sibling rather than a parent they can read as condescension. If you want that register, put it in the third group where the framing is already about the two of you growing up together.
One exception worth naming: if he has had a genuinely bad year — a divorce, a redundancy, an illness — the rules invert. That is the one occasion when the sincere song, sent privately, is exactly right, and he will remember it for years. “Lean on Me” and “The Weight” exist for that week.
By how much sincerity he will take
A joke on the surface
True underneath, funny on top. This is the standard technology of brotherhood and it works.
- Never Gonna Give You UpRick Astley · 1987
The oldest joke on the internet, and a promise if you squint. Send it at seven in the morning.
- In Da Club50 Cent · 2003
One line about a birthday and two decades of parties. He will know it and so will everyone older.
- I’m Still StandingElton John · 1983
For a brother who has survived a chaotic year, ideally one he caused.
- Money for NothingDire Straits · 1985
For the brother who has complained about his job in every conversation since 2015.
- Always Look on the Bright Side of LifeEric Idle · 1979
Cheerful nihilism. For a brother who finds birthdays fundamentally ridiculous.
- Don’t Stop Me NowQueen · 1978
Not really a joke, and it plays as one. For a brother who is exhausting in the best way.
- CelebrationKool & The Gang · 1980
So on the nose it becomes funny. Put it on when the cake arrives.
- The Final CountdownEurope · 1986
For a fortieth or a fiftieth, played far too loudly. Nobody has ever taken this seriously and that is the point.
Sincere, sent privately
Early in the morning, no preamble, no explanation. These do not survive being played at a party.
- Bridge Over Troubled WaterSimon & Garfunkel · 1970
The biggest promise available. For a brother who is genuinely in a hole.
- Times Like TheseFoo Fighters · 2002
About starting over. Loud enough that it does not feel like being handled.
- Fire and RainJames Taylor · 1970
For a brother who has lost someone. Quiet, and it does not try to fix anything.
- Stand by MeBen E. King · 1961
A promise about presence rather than about feelings, which is the version most men can accept.
- You’ve Got a FriendCarole King · 1971
Unfashionably direct. Send it with nothing attached and let it do its work.
- With a Little Help from My FriendsJoe Cocker · 1968
Cocker’s version is a plea, not a singalong. Choose deliberately between his and Ringo’s.
- The CaveMumford & Sons · 2009
Hopeful and loud at the same time. Good for a brother coming out of a bad stretch.
- Fix YouColdplay · 2005
Enormous by the end and slightly embarrassing, which is why it works when nothing else does.
About growing up together
The shared childhood, the same house, the same parents. Safe territory even for brothers who deflect everything else.
- Somewhere Only We KnowKeane · 2004
About a place only two people remember. For brothers whose shared world is a house that got sold.
- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)Green Day · 1997
Written bitter, adopted as a farewell. For a brother you grew up alongside and now see twice a year.
- Take Me Home, Country RoadsJohn Denver · 1971
For a brother who is homesick and would never use the word.
- Thunder RoadBruce Springsteen · 1975
About being young and wanting out of somewhere. If you both wanted out of the same town, this is it.
- Rivers and RoadsThe Head and the Heart · 2011
About people scattering across a country. Play the last minute and see what happens.
- PhotographEd Sheeran · 2015
Send it with a photograph of the two of you at nine and eleven. That is the whole move.
- Father and SonCat Stevens · 1970
Two generations talking past each other. Between brothers it becomes a song about the family you both left.
- Sweet CarolineNeil Diamond · 1969
The last song of the night. Both of you will do the shouted part without discussing it.
Three demonstration songs
What a song about your brother sounds like
We wrote these from made-up answers to the same five questions you would fill in. They are not customer work. For a brother, the trick is that the song can be funny and still be the most sincere thing anyone has said to him this decade.
Make his song- Ruth’s Yellow KitchenCountry · a grandmother who fed everyone who came to the door3:39
- Marcus at FortyPop · written to be funny, at a friend’s request3:00
- Marguerite at the StopFolk · forty years from a bus stop in the rain2:19
How it works
Three steps. The first one is the only hard part.
- 1Tell the storyFive questions. Who it’s for, the occasion, three details only you two know, the feeling you want, and the names that have to be in it.
- 2Pick the soundCountry, pop, acoustic, R&B, gospel or rock. A man’s voice or a woman’s.
- 3Listen, then unlockA 30-second preview in about two minutes. Pay only if you love it. You get the full song, the lyrics, and a page you can send.
Common questions
- What is a good birthday song for a brother?
- “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” is the obvious one and it holds up. If he deflects sincerity, send something funny instead — a joke he can react to lets the real message through without either of you having to acknowledge it.
- What should a sister send her brother?
- Something warm rather than something sentimental, and send it privately. “Lean on Me” and “Stand by Me” both work from a sister without triggering the reflex to make a joke of it.
- Are there songs actually about brothers?
- Fewer than you would think. “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” and Blur’s “My Brother” are genuinely about siblings. “Brothers in Arms” is about soldiers, and “Danny’s Song” is a man writing for his brother’s newborn son — closer than most.
- What if he is going through something?
- Then the rules invert. That is the one occasion for the sincere song, sent privately, with no joke attached. “Lean on Me” and “The Weight” exist for exactly that week, and he will remember it for years.
- Can I get a birthday song written about my brother?
- Yes, and this is a good case for it, because you can make it funny and true at once. Answer five questions — his name, the birthday, three things only the two of you know, the tone you want and the music he likes — and you will hear a 30-second preview in about two minutes. The full song is $19.
Other birthday lists
Birthday songs for sisterBirthday songs for a friendBirthday songs for sonMilestone birthday songsFor him, not for the birthday
Songs for brother