Birthday Songs for a Friend
Thirty-four birthday songs for a friend. Sending one is a low-cost, high-return gesture that almost nobody makes any more, which is exactly why it works. Sorted by whether you are being sincere, being funny, or being far away.
Updated September 202634 songs
Ten about friendship itself
- You’ve Got a FriendCarole King · 1971
The plainest statement of the thing in popular music. James Taylor’s version is warmer if you want it less bare.
- Lean on MeBill Withers · 1972
Everyone can sing it and nobody needs the words. For a friend who has carried you through something.
- You’re My Best FriendQueen · 1975
Written by John Deacon about his wife, so you are borrowing it. Two and a half minutes and relentlessly cheerful.
- Count on MeBruno Mars · 2010
The modern one, and simple enough to actually sing down a phone. For a friend under about thirty-five.
- That’s What Friends Are ForDionne Warwick and Friends · 1985
Recorded as an AIDS benefit single, which is worth knowing. Sincere to the point of being unfashionable, which is fine.
- I’ll Be There for YouThe Rembrandts · 1995
The Friends theme. Nobody hears it as a song any more, which makes it either a joke or a shortcut — both work.
- Wind Beneath My WingsBette Midler · 1989
From a film about two women’s friendship, and usually mistaken for a love song. Reclaim it.
- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)Green Day · 1997
Written as a bitter break-up song and adopted as a farewell anyway. For a friend you have known since school.
- Rivers and RoadsThe Head and the Heart · 2011
About friends scattering across a country. For the one who moved away and stayed close anyway.
- For GoodFrom Wicked, by Stephen Schwartz · 2003
Two friends saying they changed each other. Enormous, sincere, and it will make a certain kind of person cry immediately.
Sincere or funny — pick one and commit
The most common failure here is hedging. A song sent with “haha this is so cheesy but” attached does neither job: your friend cannot enjoy it sincerely and it is not funny enough to be a joke. Decide which one you are doing and do it without the apology. Sincerity from a friend is rare enough to be startling, in a good way.
If you are going funny, the joke has to be specific to them, not to birthdays in general. A generic novelty song is a card. A song that references the flat you shared, the disastrous holiday, or the thing they have said in every conversation since 2014 is a gift. That is also exactly what the five questions on this site are for.
Timing matters more for a friend than for family. A song sent at eight in the morning on the day, before anyone else has messaged, lands about three times harder than the same song sent at nine at night among forty other notifications. Set an alarm.
One thing worth saying: a friend who is having a bad year does not want a song about how great everything is. “Lean on Me” and “That’s What Friends Are For” exist for that, and they say the thing you probably cannot say out loud without both of you finding it awkward.
By what you are going for
If you mean it
Sincere and unhedged. Send these without a disclaimer or do not send them at all.
- Bridge Over Troubled WaterSimon & Garfunkel · 1970
The biggest promise in the list. For a friend who is genuinely having the worst year.
- Stand by MeBen E. King · 1961
Older, shorter and less overwhelming than the last one. Everyone across three generations knows it.
- Thank You for Being a FriendAndrew Gold · 1978
The Golden Girls theme in its full-length original. Warmer and stranger than the sixty seconds you know.
- Fire and RainJames Taylor · 1970
For a friendship that has been through something serious. Not celebratory, and sometimes that is right.
- True ColorsCyndi Lauper · 1986
For a friend who has been hiding something or has just stopped hiding it.
- With a Little Help from My FriendsThe Beatles · 1967
Ringo’s version is cheerful; Joe Cocker’s is a plea. Choose deliberately, because they are different songs.
- HomeEdward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros · 2009
About a person being a place. Good for a friend who has moved a lot.
- LandslideFleetwood Mac · 1975
For a friend turning a number they are not happy about. Only if they raised it first.
If you are taking the piss
The joke has to be specific to them. A generic novelty song is just a card with a longer loading time.
- Never Gonna Give You UpRick Astley · 1987
The oldest joke on the internet and still funny to exactly one kind of friend. You know whether yours is.
- In Da Club50 Cent · 2003
One line about a birthday and two decades of parties. Send it at eight in the morning for maximum effect.
- Old ManNeil Young · 1972
For a friend turning thirty who is being dramatic about it. Deniable, because it is a great song.
- I’m Still StandingElton John · 1983
For a friend who has survived a chaotic year of their own making.
- Always Look on the Bright Side of LifeEric Idle · 1979
Cheerful nihilism. For the friend who finds birthdays fundamentally absurd.
- Money for NothingDire Straits · 1985
For the friend who complains about their job constantly. They will get it in four bars.
- Don’t Stop Me NowQueen · 1978
For the friend who is exhausting in the best way. Not really a joke, but it plays as one.
- Bye Bye ByeNSYNC · 2000
For a friend who has just left a job, a city or a person. The choreography is the point.
For a friend who lives far away
Distance is the most common reason people send a song instead of showing up. These are for that.
- Rivers and RoadsThe Head and the Heart · 2011
The best song about friends scattering. Play the last minute if you want to be undone.
- Somewhere Only We KnowKeane · 2004
About a place that only two people remember. For a friendship rooted in one town.
Written as a love song and it works for a best friend two time zones away.
- Ain’t No Mountain High EnoughMarvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell · 1967
Big, silly, and entirely sincere at the same time — the rare song that can be both.
- I Will Follow You into the DarkDeath Cab for Cutie · 2005
One voice and one guitar. For a friendship where nothing needs dressing up.
- Take Me Home, Country RoadsJohn Denver · 1971
For a friend who is homesick and would not say so. Anyone in any country will sing along.
- PhotographEd Sheeran · 2015
About keeping someone in a picture. Good with a photograph attached, which is the whole move.
- Time of Your LifeGreen Day · 1997
Under its other name it is the graduation song. For the friend you only see once a year now.
Three demonstration songs
What a song about your friend sounds like
We wrote these from made-up answers to the same five questions you would fill in. They are not customer work. This is the one occasion where a funny song beats a beautiful one, and a funny song has to be specific to survive.
Make their song- Ruth’s Yellow KitchenCountry · a grandmother who fed everyone who came to the door3:39
- Marcus at FortyPop · written to be funny, at a friend’s request3:00
- Biscuit Tin ElaineAcoustic · a mother who worked eleven years of night shifts2:50
How it works
Three steps. The first one is the only hard part.
- 1Tell the storyFive questions. Who it’s for, the occasion, three details only you two know, the feeling you want, and the names that have to be in it.
- 2Pick the soundCountry, pop, acoustic, R&B, gospel or rock. A man’s voice or a woman’s.
- 3Listen, then unlockA 30-second preview in about two minutes. Pay only if you love it. You get the full song, the lyrics, and a page you can send.
Common questions
- What song should I send a friend on their birthday?
- Decide first whether you are being sincere or funny, then commit to it. “You’ve Got a Friend” and “Count on Me” cover sincere; anything specific to a shared joke covers funny. The hedged middle — sending something sweet with “haha so cheesy” attached — does neither job.
- What is a good song for a best friend?
- “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen is two and a half minutes and cheerful. “For Good” from Wicked is the one that will actually make them cry. Pick based on what you want to happen.
- What do you send a friend who is having a bad year?
- Not a song about how great everything is. “Lean on Me”, “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “That’s What Friends Are For” all say the thing you probably cannot say out loud without both of you finding it awkward.
- When should I send it?
- Early. A song that arrives at eight in the morning, before anyone else has messaged, lands roughly three times harder than the same song at nine at night among forty other notifications.
- Can I get a birthday song written about my friend?
- Yes, and this is the occasion it suits best. Answer five questions — their name, the birthday, three things only the two of you would know, the tone you want and the music they like — and you will hear a 30-second preview in about two minutes. The full song is $19.