Apology Songs
Thirty-four songs about being sorry. Before the list, one thing nobody else on this subject will tell you: a song is a bad apology on its own. It works as an addition to one and as a substitute for none, and the difference decides whether this helps or makes things worse.
Updated September 202634 songs
Ten about being sorry
- Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest WordElton John · 1976
The definitive one, and it is about being unable to apologise rather than apologising. Worth noticing.
- Hard to Say I’m SorryChicago · 1982
Same subject, more directly. The second half changes tempo entirely, so play the whole thing or none.
- SorryJustin Bieber · 2015
An apology that is also asking for something back, which is honest about how most apologies work.
- Back to DecemberTaylor Swift · 2010
A rare pop song where the singer is straightforwardly in the wrong and says so without qualification.
- The ScientistColdplay · 2002
About wanting to go back and start again. Ambiguous enough to send when you cannot say it directly.
- Fix YouColdplay · 2005
Not an apology at all and used as one constantly. It is about someone else’s pain, not your fault.
- I Was WrongSocial Distortion · 1996
A punk record about a life of poor decisions. For an apology that needs to sound unpolished.
- How Do You Sleep?Sam Smith · 2019
The opposite direction — a song for the person owed the apology. Know which side you are on.
- Ain’t No SunshineBill Withers · 1971
About absence rather than fault. For when the apology is really about wanting them back.
- YesterdayThe Beatles · 1965
The oldest and vaguest of these. Says something went wrong and declines to say what.
When a song is the wrong move
A song is not an apology. An apology names the thing, accepts it was your fault, and does not ask for anything. A song does none of those and cannot, because somebody else wrote it about something else. Sent alone it can read as an attempt to be forgiven without doing the work, and for a serious wrong it will make things worse rather than better.
It works well in exactly two situations. First, alongside a real apology already made, as a way of saying the thing is still on your mind days later. Second, for something small and slightly funny — a missed birthday, a forgotten favour, an argument about nothing — where the gesture is affectionate rather than penitent.
Do not send an apology song that is really about you. Half the famous ones are about how hard it is for the singer to apologise, which relocates the difficulty from the person you hurt to yourself. “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” is a beautiful record and it is, on inspection, a song about the singer’s feelings.
If it is serious, say it in your own words with nothing attached — no song, no gift, no explanation of why you did it. Then, if it is right, send the song a week later. The order matters more than the choice.
By what happened
For something small
A missed birthday, a forgotten favour, an argument about nothing. Affectionate rather than penitent.
- SorryJustin Bieber · 2015
Cheerful enough that it cannot be mistaken for a grand gesture. Good for a genuine minor lapse.
- Oops!... I Did It AgainBritney Spears · 2000
Only if the thing is genuinely trivial and you both find it funny. It is a joke, so treat it as one.
- Baby Come BackPlayer · 1977
Wildly disproportionate to any small offence, which is the whole gag.
- Sorry Not SorryDemi Lovato · 2017
For an apology neither of you means. Send it to a friend, never to a partner.
- Ain’t Too Proud to BegThe Temptations · 1966
Two and a half minutes and it is fun. For a small thing where you want to be over-the-top.
- I Want You BackThe Jackson 5 · 1969
Impossible to be angry through. Good when the argument has already mostly deflated.
- Say Hey (I Love You)Michael Franti & Spearhead · 2008
Uncomplicated warmth. For clearing the air rather than for admitting anything.
- Three Little BirdsBob Marley & The Wailers · 1977
Not about apology at all, and it says the useful part: this is going to be fine.
When you were genuinely wrong
Send these after you have apologised properly, not instead of it. Days later, not the same night.
- Back to DecemberTaylor Swift · 2010
The singer is unambiguously in the wrong and does not soften it. Rare and useful.
- I Was WrongSocial Distortion · 1996
Unpolished, which is the right texture for an apology that should not sound composed.
- The ScientistColdplay · 2002
About wanting to go back to before. Send it when you cannot get the words out.
- HurtJohnny Cash · 2002
A very heavy choice about damage done to yourself and others. Only for the real thing.
- Nothing Compares 2 USinéad O’Connor · 1990
About the aftermath rather than the fault. For a separation you caused.
- Both Sides NowJoni Mitchell · 1969
For an apology years later, once you understand what actually happened.
- Fire and RainJames Taylor · 1970
For a wrong you cannot undo. It does not pretend anything can be fixed.
- The Living YearsMike + The Mechanics · 1988
For a family apology that has waited too long. Send it before it is too late to matter.
To a friend or a family member
Different from a partner: less at stake and harder to raise. A song is often how these get restarted.
- Lean on MeBill Withers · 1972
For a friendship you let lapse. It says you are available without requiring a conversation.
- You’ve Got a FriendCarole King · 1971
Direct and unembarrassed. Good for restarting something after a long silence.
- Somewhere Only We KnowKeane · 2004
For a rift you are not ready to name. It reminds them of before without raising it.
- The Night We MetLord Huron · 2015
About wanting to go back to before. Melancholy rather than apologetic, which suits a family gap.
- Rivers and RoadsThe Head and the Heart · 2011
For a friendship that drifted rather than broke. Nobody is at fault and both of you know it.
- PhotographEd Sheeran · 2015
Send it with an old picture attached and no message. It works more often than it should.
- I’ll Stand by YouThe Pretenders · 1994
For a sibling. Says the offer is still open without relitigating anything.
- Here Comes the SunThe Beatles · 1969
For the point where it is genuinely over and you both want to move on.
Three demonstration songs
What a real apology sounds like
We wrote these from made-up answers to the same five questions you would fill in. They are not customer work. A written song can do the one thing no record on this page can: name the actual thing you did. That is also the reason it is harder to send.
Start the song- Danny On The RiverAcoustic · to a brother, after eleven months of silence3:15
- Nadia for Our First DanceR&B · a first dance, written about the two of them3:18
- Ruth’s Yellow KitchenCountry · a grandmother who fed everyone who came to the door3:39
How it works
Three steps. The first one is the only hard part.
- 1Tell the storyFive questions. Who it’s for, the occasion, three details only you two know, the feeling you want, and the names that have to be in it.
- 2Pick the soundCountry, pop, acoustic, R&B, gospel or rock. A man’s voice or a woman’s.
- 3Listen, then unlockA 30-second preview in about two minutes. Pay only if you love it. You get the full song, the lyrics, and a page you can send.
Common questions
- Is sending a song a good apology?
- On its own, no. An apology names the thing, accepts fault and asks for nothing; a song does none of those. It works alongside a real apology, or for something small and affectionate. For a serious wrong, sent alone, it makes things worse.
- What is the best apology song?
- “Back to December” is the most honest — the singer is unambiguously in the wrong and does not soften it. “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” is more famous and is really about the singer’s own difficulty.
- What should I send after a serious argument?
- Nothing, at first. Say it in your own words with no song, no gift and no explanation of why you did it. If it is right, send the song a week later. The order matters more than the choice does.
- What about apologising to a friend or a sibling?
- Those are harder to raise and easier to restart with a song. “Lean on Me” or “Photograph” with an old picture say the offer is open without demanding a conversation neither of you wants to start.
- Can I get an apology song written?
- Yes, and it can do the thing no record can: name what you actually did. Answer five questions, including the difficult one, and you will hear a 30-second preview in about two minutes. The full song is $19.