Apology Songs for Your Partner
Thirty-four songs for apologising to a partner. Sorted by how bad it was, because the same song sent after a silly argument and after a real betrayal does opposite things. There is also a group for the case where you have not been forgiven, which is the hardest one to get right.
Updated September 202634 songs
Ten for a partner
- Back to DecemberTaylor Swift · 2010
The singer is straightforwardly in the wrong and does not qualify it. The best model on this page.
- Hard to Say I’m SorryChicago · 1982
The classic. The tempo changes entirely halfway through, so play all of it or none.
- The ScientistColdplay · 2002
About wanting to go back and start again. Send it when you cannot get the words out yourself.
- Nothing Compares 2 USinéad O’Connor · 1990
About the aftermath rather than the fault. For a separation you caused and regret.
- Make You Feel My LoveBob Dylan · 1997
A promise rather than an apology. For the stage after sorry, when you are trying to rebuild something.
- SorryJustin Bieber · 2015
An apology that also asks for something back, which is honest about how most of them work.
- Ain’t No SunshineBill Withers · 1971
Two minutes about an absence. Sends the message without claiming any moral position.
- Say SomethingA Great Big World & Christina Aguilera · 2013
About giving up on someone. Do not send this unless you mean that, because it reads as an ending.
- Someone Like YouAdele · 2011
From the other side entirely — the person who was left. Useful for understanding what they heard.
- Better ManLittle Big Town · 2017
Written by Taylor Swift, sung from the position of the person who left. Read it before you use it.
Do this first, and the song second
The order is the whole thing. Apologise properly first: name what you did, say it was your fault, do not explain why, do not ask for anything, and stop talking. Then, days later, the song is a way of saying it is still on your mind. Sent in the other order — song first, conversation later — it reads as an attempt to be forgiven cheaply, and most people can feel that immediately.
Match the size to the offence. A grand ballad after a small argument is funny at best and manipulative at worst; a light song after something serious reads as not having understood. If you are not sure which of the three groups below you are in, you are probably in the second one, and the honest move is to assume the worse of the two.
Be careful with songs that are about the singer’s difficulty in apologising. Several famous ones relocate the hard part from the person you hurt onto yourself, which is exactly the thing a bad apology does. If the song spends more time on how sorry you feel than on what you did, choose another.
And if you have not been forgiven, do not send anything that assumes you will be. The third group below is for that: songs that acknowledge the situation without pushing it. The single worst thing to send at that point is a love song, because it skips the part that has not happened yet.
By how bad it was
After an argument that got out of hand
Nobody did anything unforgivable and both of you know it. Warm, short, and ideally slightly funny.
- I Want You BackThe Jackson 5 · 1969
Impossible to stay annoyed through. Good once the argument has mostly deflated.
- Ain’t Too Proud to BegThe Temptations · 1966
Two and a half minutes and it is fun. Over-the-top on purpose, which defuses things.
- Baby Come BackPlayer · 1977
Wildly disproportionate to a small row, which is exactly why it works.
- Lovely DayBill Withers · 1977
Not an apology. A way of saying the day can still be fine, which is often the actual message.
- Best PartDaniel Caesar featuring H.E.R. · 2017
Quiet and affectionate. For the evening after, rather than the morning of.
- Say Hey (I Love You)Michael Franti & Spearhead · 2008
Uncomplicated warmth with no claim attached. Good for clearing the air.
- Better TogetherJack Johnson · 2005
Low-stakes and gentle. Says the argument was not the important part.
- Three Little BirdsBob Marley & The Wailers · 1977
The most useful thing to say after a row: this is going to be fine.
After something you actually did
Send these days after the real apology, never instead of it and never the same night.
- Back to DecemberTaylor Swift · 2010
Unambiguous fault, unsoftened. The clearest apology in modern pop music.
- The ScientistColdplay · 2002
About wanting to go back to before you did it. Ambiguous enough not to be a demand.
- I Was WrongSocial Distortion · 1996
Unpolished, which is the right texture. An apology should not sound composed.
- Nothing Compares 2 USinéad O’Connor · 1990
About the aftermath rather than the fault. For a separation you brought about.
- HurtJohnny Cash · 2002
Very heavy, about damage done to yourself and to others. Only for the real thing.
- Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest WordElton John · 1976
The famous one. Note that it is about the singer’s difficulty, not the other person’s injury.
- Fix YouColdplay · 2005
Not an apology and used as one constantly. Send it only if their pain is not your doing.
- Make You Feel My LoveBob Dylan · 1997
For the stage after sorry. It is a promise, and promises only work once sorry has landed.
If you have not been forgiven
The hardest case. These acknowledge the situation without assuming an outcome. Do not send a love song here.
- Say SomethingA Great Big World & Christina Aguilera · 2013
About giving up. Only send it if you genuinely mean that, because it will be read as an ending.
- Someone Like YouAdele · 2011
Written from the position of the person who was left. Useful for understanding what they are feeling.
- Better ManLittle Big Town · 2017
Sung from the position of the person who walked away. Difficult and clarifying.
- Fire and RainJames Taylor · 1970
For something that cannot be undone. It does not pretend anything is fixable.
- Both Sides NowJoni Mitchell · 1969
For an apology years later, once you finally understand what happened.
- The Night We MetLord Huron · 2015
About wanting to return to before. Melancholy rather than pleading, which matters here.
- Wish You Were HerePink Floyd · 1975
Says something without asking for anything, which at this stage is the only safe register.
- LandslideFleetwood Mac · 1975
About change you did not want. For the point where you have accepted the outcome.
Three demonstration songs
What a real apology sounds like
We wrote these from made-up answers to the same five questions you would fill in. They are not customer work. The reason a written one is different is that it can name the thing — and being willing to have it named is most of what an apology is.
Start the song- Danny On The RiverAcoustic · to a brother, after eleven months of silence3:15
- Marguerite at the StopFolk · forty years from a bus stop in the rain2:19
- Vera in AugustFolk · read out at a memorial, dahlias and all3:07
How it works
Three steps. The first one is the only hard part.
- 1Tell the storyFive questions. Who it’s for, the occasion, three details only you two know, the feeling you want, and the names that have to be in it.
- 2Pick the soundCountry, pop, acoustic, R&B, gospel or rock. A man’s voice or a woman’s.
- 3Listen, then unlockA 30-second preview in about two minutes. Pay only if you love it. You get the full song, the lyrics, and a page you can send.
Common questions
- Should I send my partner an apology song?
- Only after you have apologised properly in your own words. Sent first, it reads as trying to be forgiven cheaply, and most people feel that immediately. Sent days later, it says the thing is still on your mind.
- What is the best apology song for a partner?
- “Back to December” — the singer is unambiguously at fault and does not soften it. Most of the famous alternatives are about how hard the apology is for the singer, which is the same move a bad apology makes.
- What should I send after a big argument?
- Something short, warm and slightly funny once it has deflated — “I Want You Back” or “Three Little Birds”. A grand ballad after a small row is either funny or manipulative and rarely lands in between.
- What if they have not forgiven me?
- Do not send a love song. It skips the part that has not happened. Something that acknowledges the situation without assuming an outcome — “Wish You Were Here”, “Fire and Rain” — is the only safe register at that stage.
- Can I get an apology song written?
- Yes, and it can name the actual thing, which no record can. Answer five questions, including the honest one about what happened, and you will hear a 30-second preview in about two minutes. The full song is $19.